Guard Your Grill (2.0)

A Message To The People

2009-06-29T12:11:00.000-07:00

So I know I've been absent for all of you that still check this site on the regular (I love you mommy) but don't think I've forgotten you. Now that I have a badass new comp with Linux (Windows Vista users stay losin), I will start making this a weekly video blog that will update you on everything that pretty much isn't your business about me. So if you are reading this, shut up...

In the meantime, I updated my myspace page with new pictures of me, with the usual zany commentary.

Check back in a week,
Justin

Movie Review: X-Men Origins Wolverine

2009-05-11T12:55:00.000-07:00

20th Century Fox has continued its tradition of ruining great franchises with crappy spin offs here. Just as they allowed both Aliens and Predator to turn into shit b-movies, the new Wolverine movie gives us a script that called for not one, not two but three shots of Hugh Jackman looking toward the sky and yelling Nooooooooo!

Also Wolverine and Sabertooth are made to be brothers, which actually adds nothing to the plot of the film. There is also a subplot about about members of Wolverine's old team being killed one by one while the main character chops wood peacefully in the mountains (just like 20th Century Fox's Commando) that is abandoned as if it was only inserted to make the film longer. Adding to the cliches, there is an old rural couple who adopts Wolverine and gives him down home wisdom...like Superman.

Finally Deadpool is given an array of powers not seen in the comic book and cyclops comes off looking like a bitch who repeats "trust me I know the way".

The Verdict: This script of this movie was laughably bad. Its unbelievable a team of people read it and approved it. But at least Hugh Jackman was good.

Ask Justin!

2009-03-29T13:36:00.000-07:00

Hello all, I've been a bit busy in the last month doing shows and designing courses for my alma mater. But that dosen't mean I don't have time for you. Please take the time out to ask me anything thats been on your mind lately in the comments section. I promise to respond with the tenderness of a lover with small hands.

Poll Result: Women Love Spanish Gibberish

2009-03-06T11:03:00.000-08:00

Apparently women love it when you yell the word culo at them. Check the results:

Best Pickup Line?

Selection
S'up ho 20% 3
Ayyy Giyrl! 7% 1
Spanish Gibberish 67% 10
Damn you got a phat ass! 7% 1

15 votes total

The Funniest Shit This Week

2009-02-23T22:13:00.000-08:00

This past week I had the good fortune of being able to see one of my comedy idols, Gilbert Gottfried perform at Caroline's on Broadway. Although you couldn't be there, listening to his infamous prank to senile real estate mogul Abe Hirshfeld is the next best thing. Check it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3ro34kuxXM

Justin on The Arts

2009-02-11T11:38:00.001-08:00

Sometimes Justin listens to music. On occasion I form an opinion on what I listen to. The following is a brief recap of some of those very opinions:

Album Review The Mars Volta 'The Bedlam and Goliath': The Mars Volta is my one of my favorite bands ever but after Frances the Mute, I began to tire of their 15 minute songs often filled with 4-5 minutes of ambient noise. I prayed to god and said "why can't they just rock out and keep some of the Pink Floyd stuff to themselves". God answered me with their newest album. 12 tracks, no filler and a Progressive sound that would make Rush throw their hand in the air and yell "ughn, oh yeah"! (10 bucks for anyone that gets that reference). In short, 'The Bedlam and Goliath' is nearly as good as their Jawesome classic 'De-loused in the Crematorium'. The second track Metatron > Your fav bands best work.

Album Review TV on The Radio 'Dear Science': My favorite people from Williamsburg release an album the critics are claiming is their most accessible and chart ready. I don't know about all that (they are probably too original/eclectic for MTV and not coon enough for the minstrel channel), but the shit is pretty good. Although this album seems to be doing well, I'm not sure a experimental rock band who dabbles in soul and R and B is going to do well in the age of soulja boy. Check the lead single Golden Age.

2009= Year of the Negro???

2009-02-04T12:41:00.000-08:00

In honor of Black History Month, I think its only proper that we assess the state of African-American progress. Well Obviously we have a black President, but that ain't all. Now the chairman of the Republican Party is black, The Attorney General is black(free Attica), a 35 year-old black Coach won the Super Bowl and Serena Williams has been beating white women in Tennis like its Sega's virtual Tennis. And its only February for god sakes!

There is one barrier we have yet to over come as a people...Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. Bear with me for a second.

While all the aforementioned success stories seem to constitute racial progress, wouldn't it be an even bigger story if the head of America's foremost racist organization was black? Now that's change I can believe in. So this begs the question, how will the Klan implement their Affirmative action policy?

Speaking of (black) polls, I was somewhat surprised to be named the most threatening black man in America. But then again I do have a higher education, public speaking skills and a white girlfriend. I'm sure whoever "the man" is wakes up in cold sweat every night thinking about that combination. Check the results:

Most Threatening Black Man?
Selection Votes
Barack Obama 13% 4
Kimbo Slice 33% 10
Malik Zulu Shabazz3% 1
Justin Williams 50% 15

30 votes total

Justin on The Arts

2009-01-27T15:47:00.000-08:00

In addition to being a karate master, international sex symbol and the first African-American to pilot a spacecraft, I also have an opinion of films I see. The following are those very opinions:

Film Review, The Wrestler: A very good movie that does justice to the struggles of pro-wrestlers featuring a great lead performance by Mickey Rourke. The most tragic part of the film is its message: Performers are desirable as a consumer product but once they leave the stage, they are as disposable as a empty coke can.

That being said, I'm still ordering Wrestlemania this year.

Film Review, Slumdog Millionaire: Probably should win best picture at the Oscars, which means Probably it won't. We all know the Oscars like to make bad decisions and fuck over "foreign films". As for the movie, I've never been so uplifted by a tale of crushing poverty, religious tension, child exploitation, human trafficking and organized crime.

The Funniest Shit This Week

2009-01-24T10:05:00.000-08:00

This will teach ya to stay in school:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-JjldxU-pA

MLK= A Smart Guy

2009-01-20T08:45:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwX2k46UIOM

One Night in The Bay Area

2009-01-14T23:01:00.001-08:00

So last weekend I was visiting my dear friend D.J. Mike Dunkle at his Berkeley, California residence. Here is a brief recap of my first 3 hours:

8:30 On the way from Oakland Airport our train passes through a police riot aimed at avenging the recent police shooting of an unarmed black male (natch). The conductor announced the would be no stops in Oakland due to "protests", while a suspicious teen in a mask evaded a armed officer who looked scared shitless.

9:15 Tacos in Berkeley...made by actual Mexicans!

9:45 While walking up historic San Pablo Blvd to drink at the equally historic Missouri lounge, we witness a Ford F-350 to wrap itself around an oak tree launching while something that resembles a young woman emerges from the windshield 10 feet into oncoming traffic.

9:46 It was a woman and shes walking towards us zombie style.

9:50 police and fireman arrive and examined the young lady who has miraculously only attained minor scratches.

10:00 Justin Williams nervously gives a police statement in front of a good deal of fellow African-American onlookers. Stop snitchin indeed.

10:15 The jaws of life and a gurney await the poor bastard who was unlucky enough to have an airbag and seat belt during the accident.

10:20 The officers explain the incident was likely a dispute between a prostitute (ho) and a trick (john) which ended in a struggle over control of the vehicle. One of my friends notices that she has just a dab of prostitute blood on her jeans.

10:45 The Missouri lounge is serving a pint of PBR and a shot of whiskey for six dollars. Success!

Keep in mind I hadn't even got to San Francisco yet...

10 Questions for 2009

2009-01-04T13:28:00.000-08:00

Its a new year and I'm a confused as ever about the world we live in. This is some shit thats on my mind.

1. If Israel finds Hamas so unacceptable, then why did they enable them by de-legitimizing Yassir Arafat and the Fatah wing of the Palestinian Authority for years? Its almost as if Isreal wants to keep the Palestinans divided and weak to delay granting them the basic right of self- determination. But I could be wrong about this.

2. How can anybody justify not giving Utah the national championship?

3. Should I be happy that Soulja boy got jacked?

4. Is Charles Barkley the greatest man alive for admitting he was speeding and driving drunk so he could get some of that gagging thunder dome? If anything, this type of honesty under fire should boost his bid to become governor of Alabama in 2010.

5. Can anybody name one hot mainstream rapper that has come out in the last 3 years?

6. Why doesn't anybody in Kanye West's inner circle tell him that dressing like Tron and singing is an awful idea?

7. Why are drinks $1 in Kansas City, yet there are 5 taxis for 2 million people?

8. Is this going to be the year my stand-up gets people open like research monkeys?

9. When is the left going to realize that Barack Obama is a. still a politician and b. a better politician then they are?

10. You see Tracy Morgan on Letterman:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voqIvq61gGM

Insane Wrestling Promo of the Week

2008-12-31T09:52:00.000-08:00

"Rowdy" Roddy Piper has a point to make. Of course, nothing says "I"m not fucking around" better than taking a full bottle of beer to the skull. Check it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHh9Wb--J0MP>

p.s. Hitting someone in the head with a bottle is assault with a deadly weapon in some places.

Poll Result: Kwanza is the Best Holiday

2008-12-24T11:02:00.000-08:00

Well this was a shocker. I don't know anyone who celebrates this. I do know, the whole lighting candles thing was probably ripped off the Jews. Consider it payback for Al Jolson. Check the vote:

Best Winter Holiday?

Selection		Votes
X-Mas	16%	3
Hanukka	0%	0
Kwanza	47%	9
New Years Eve	37%	7

19 votes total

Finally A Good Pro Wrestling Movie

2008-12-19T11:28:00.000-08:00

Its no secret I'm a lifelong fan of the drama, athleticism and spectacle that is pro wrestling. Despite wrestling's titanic place in American popular culture, the only movie made about it was that "comedic" abortion Ready to Rumble starring David Arquette. Needless to say this film was a crime against humanity. The real shame is wrestling has an array of personal stories that are godammed intriguing when taken seriously.

But alas there is hope. Darren Aronofsky has teamed up with Mickey Rourke (who was nails as Marv in "Sin City") for "The Wrestler", which promises to give pro wrestling the in depth look it deserves. Check the trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGnO1oQk2_w

Keith Sweat= Reduced to Singing for Chicken

2008-12-10T13:58:00.000-08:00

Remember Keith Sweat. Back in like 94' his music was a sure way to get with the ladies. I guess he went broke and lost his pride or something cause now hes singing about chicken:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ty0IiMuPs9E&eurl=

Mission Accomplished!

2008-12-05T10:50:00.000-08:00

We may not have captured Osama Bin Laden or the Anthrax guy. We may have ruined Iraq for a few generations and are losing ground to the Taliban. Countries like Ghana are posting higher economic growth rates than us.... but we finally got O.J.! We did it!!!!!
Check it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmOQyyezwCQ

In other news, Nancy Grace and Greta Van Sustren have committed suicide because they just lost the entire justification for their existence.

More Proof Music Sucks Balls Right Now

2008-12-04T09:33:00.000-08:00

Lil Wayne has been nominated for 8....8.......for serious 8 Grammys. It seems the Grammy selection commitee was recently kidnaped and replaced by 14 year old black girls who watch 106 and Park like that shits Citzen Kane.

Which gets me to thinking, I should probably drop an album right now. Cause we all know I could probably do better than the Carter III. I can drink a bunch of codeine and string together a bunch of lazy metaphors too! And just when you thought it couldn't suck any harder, I'm going to give you some voice box action. Cause doing what Roger Troutman and Peter Frampton did ages ago is just genius. The Grammys have spoken, Lil Wayne> Stevie Wonder.

"Who gives a fuck about a goddamn Grammy"- Chuck D.

Poll Result: Flavor Flav is the Ugliest Mofo

2008-11-28T10:33:00.000-08:00

This was an interesting result. I actually think Amy Winehouse is more tore down at this point. Check the results:

Ugliest Mofo?

Selection		Votes
Michael Jackson	10%	4
Amy Winehouse	21%	8
Flavor Flav	62%	24
Clint Howard	8%	3

39 votes total

I would say something humorous about how ugly the P.E. hypeman is, but...

1. I'm lazy as hell with my posts lately
2. I'm busy prepping my new act for the Comic Strip
3. I have nothing that can top Martin Laurence's opinion on the matter:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruw35LN9Ddk

Pastor Manning on Obama's Foriegn Policy

2008-11-21T05:03:00.000-08:00

While the media is preoccupied with the prosepects of Hillary Clinton becoming Secretary of State, Pastor Manning is busy predicting the next 4 years of world history. Apparently it doesn't look good for the Jews (including Rahm Immanuel and David Axelrod) and some country called Itszrayel:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4oxch8af0I

P.S. Pastor Manning has finally revealed the Polish death camps were actually operated by Muslims in Pavillons. I knew the Nazis couldn't have done all that shit. Plus its clear my roomates who are both Jewish and voted for Obama need to have their heads examined.

Clip of the Week

2008-11-19T13:54:00.000-08:00

I'm out of town for the week, but that doesn't mean you have to miss out on spiritual uplift. Check this out and know the true meaning of happiness:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptZsL5uuvAY

R.I..P Ralph Nader

2008-11-11T09:31:00.000-08:00

The greatest consumer advocate in American history and liberal icon didn't actually die. But hes pretty much been dead in the eyes of any serious person after his latest pathetic attempt to get attention:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibsP6XN2dIo

Is it ok to critique a man's policies if you don't agree with all of them? Absolutely. Is it cool to insinuate the first African American President is a double agent before he even takes office? Only if you're a fucking moron who needs a pension and some attention.

This one kinda hurts, because Nader used to be my guy. But since 2000, hes been a fuck up when he decided to not actually build the Green Party into a serious engine for social change. You know, the way Barack Obama and Howard Dean have done with Democratic party in the last two years.

And as a Left winger that's the problem with 1/3rd of the people on my side of the isle. You all talk a bunch of shit, but when it actually comes to putting in the work to change policy, you come up missing faster than a pretty white girl on the local news.

The Right Wing and their institutions gets this basic point. They may not have liked John McCain, but they understood Barack Obama is actually progressive. Although he won't go as far as some of us want, he will be more liberal than any President we've had in my life time.

So in closing, shut the fuck up with the bullshit Ralph Nader and build a PAC, lobby, university or newspaper to promote your ideas. Thats what Jerry Falwell would have done. And although hes in gay heaven, Liberty University is still here keeping the anti-evolution struggle alive.

America Libertated!

2008-11-05T07:27:00.000-08:00

Not only from eight years of awful, cynical government. But also the ghost of its own ugly past. The best run campaign in modern history and a country paying attention can do that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZdUMozImZA

I haven't cried during a celebration since this eerily simliar one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfHX3mAbyrs

Things That Need To Die

2008-11-03T19:43:00.000-08:00

1. Soulja Boy: Not only does he make the worst music in the entire world which uses a child's face to sell stupidity and sexuality to kids, hes a modern day minstrel at a time when Black people are stepping our collective game up. Today Soulja Boy (who was too stupid to pass 9th grade twice...in the South mind you) said this gem in response to the question of; Which historical figure do you hate most:

"Oh wait! Hold up! Shout out to the slave masters! Without them we'd still be in Africa. We wouldn't be here to get this ice and tattoos."

Hes only 18, but clearly we should take him to an abortion clinic. And for the record, I would rather have been chilling on a beach in Nigeria with 18 fly ass wives than picking cotton in the middle of Georiga while some guy that looks like the King of Queens rapes my wife on a weekly basis. Historically speaking of course.

2. Shitty singers using a vocoder: Ray-J, Lil Wayne, T-Pain and an array of awful people have taken to using the vocoder to cover up the fact they can't sing or rap for shit. Not only do these guys not have a single ounce of talent, they are blatantly ripping off Roger and Zapp who pioneered the use of the Vocoder in the late 70s. The ghost of Roger Troutman should kill these guys Amityville horror style.

3. This election. Only America could find a way to ruin one of the marquee moments in world history by stretching it for 2 years of media coverage. Tomorrow will deal a fatal blow to 400 years of white supremacy and it feels like Barack Obama has been running for President nearly as long. Even Martin Luther King's ghost is like "goddamn, I want to see my dream fulfilled but can you motherfuckers hurry it up...shit".

Another Sign of Racial Progress

2008-10-25T10:24:00.000-07:00

Back in the day, accusations about big black men attacking white women would have gotten an entire town of people massacred by a lynch mob. In the new millennium you just look a fucking tool. Check it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IszjevYoS6A

Lol@her backwards and upside down scar that was obviously done in a mirror.

This of course reminds me of a classic bit by master comedian Paul Mooney:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZVu5qsQ92U

The October Surprise???

2008-10-22T22:35:00.000-07:00

The internets claim to have discovered naked pictures of Barack Obama's mom. Damn... Check it at my favorite shock blog, Byron Crawford.

The Funniest Shit This Week

2008-10-21T22:12:00.000-07:00

Is me dammit! Check the fly shit Y'all:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kgqjv07euh8

R.I.P Dolemite

2008-10-20T21:37:00.000-07:00

Rudy Ray Moore a.k.a Dolemite, a.k.a the Human Tornado has passed away. You guys know I'm a huge fan of blaxploitation films and Dolemite was one of the absolute best. Is there a better plot than a pimp using a gang of karate prostitutes to kill evil white cops and get his nightclub back? If there is, I haven't seen it at the movies.

He also pioneered early hip-hop by making shit talking through rhyme a profitable enterprise:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91xGIRSAfoc

In conclusion, if you don't like Rudy Ray Moore, you're an insecure rat soup eating motherfucker.

Justin Ruins The Election

2008-10-16T21:11:00.000-07:00

So here is my official tissue breakdown of how the race for 270 electoral votes is going to go down in a few days. First lets look at the Swing states that will actually be up for grabs:

Nevada 5 evs
Colorado 9 evs
New Mexico 5 evs
Missouri 11 evs
Indiana 11 evs
Ohio 20 evs
West Virginia 5 evs
Virginia 13 evs
North Carolina 15 evs
Florida 27 evs

Not counting these states, the electoral count stands at 259 electoral votes for Obama/Biden and 158 for McCain/Palin. So Obama only has to win one out of Ohio, Florida or Virgina (or 2 of the 3 smaller western states) to secure a victory. McCain would have to run the table and then some. Unlike 2000 or 2004, a Republican is not secretary of state in either Florida or Ohio, which means McCain won't have the benefit of any election day shenanigans.

Anywhoo, after looking at the state by state trends in the last month, its pretty clear Obama is headed not only for a victory, but a landslide that will give him a clear mandate with sizable Democratic majorities in the House and Senate. So there is no excuse for major shit not getting done in the next four years.

My estimates are a bit more conservative than the polls, but I have Obama winning Colorado, New Mexico, Florida and Ohio for a grand total of 320 electoral votes.

I have McCain taking the rest for a total of 218. This is already a blowout. If he manages to lose either Virginia, North Carolina or Missouri we are looking at the longest night the Republican Party has had since F.D.R or the eerily similar Bill Clinton Pwnage of Bob Dole.

Sorry corporate media, you can hype national polls and talk horse race all you want, but this thing is over like the golden age of Hip-Hop.

p.s. Just in case you d-bags forgot, I soo called this two years ago. But you guys called it too. check the poll result:

Who Will Win The Election?

Selection		Votes
McCain	20%	4
Obama	80%	16

20 votes total

The Best of Pastor Manning

2008-10-12T12:23:00.001-07:00

This is some of the funniest stuff I've seen in some time. The Harlem holy man's greatest hits:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1sJDhJ-6iE

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate"

2008-10-11T01:15:00.003-07:00

Although this election has been effectively over for the past three weeks, its still worth paying attention to on some levels. Of course the most interesting has been the sweet racism and occasional calls to violence at McCain events. Yesterday he stepped in to put a stop to it and he was booed by his own audience.

Can anyone remember a time when a man was booed by his supporters for calling his opponent "a decent family man"? Seriously...wtf?

This is what happens when you play to fear, the ugliest of all human emotions. You produce not a campaign, but a lynch mob. The real tragedy here is that political correctness has caused these people to use words like "Arab" or "terrorist" instead of nigger. Cause you know they really mean nigger:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgHqUp6V1Eo

Tracy Morgan: A Photo Tribute

2008-10-08T22:04:00.000-07:00

No Homo.

Insane Wrestling Promo of The Week

2008-10-07T10:28:00.000-07:00

Lex Luger is mad. But hes not sure who hes mad at, when he will wrestle them, where he will wrestle, if he will get paid or how to get his shirt off. So essentially this is an interview about nothing.

This is what we call the fallen super star cocaine inspired promo:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHTj7qfnTak

On the Arts: New Exc!tement

2008-10-02T14:36:00.001-07:00

I've been to a few of this New York based sketch group's shows and needless to say they own. I know group member Chris Manley intimately well (no homo) from Stony Brook and the time he passed out drunk and naked on my pleather couch in Queens (no homo).

They are doing festivals and shows all over the place, so go see them at a theater near you. You can follow the gang at their new website here.

Bonus sketches:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSKUm-JDz40

ShowTapeFilm from New Excitement on Vimeo.
http://www.vimeo.com/1804184

What Did I Say...

2008-09-30T21:30:00.000-07:00

I would post about the economy except, I really don't know anything about it. Although I suspect that passing President Bush's bill with only a few modifications was probably a bad idea. Call it a hunch based on the White House's track record with well....everything.

The populist Democratic Progressive caucus and the fiscally conservative Blue Dog caucus pledged to come out with their own plans, which gives less power to the Administration and needless giveaways to the gamblers that got us in to this.

In an odd twist, stopping the rush of a really really expensive and problematic bill might have been the best example of bi-partisanship we've seen in the last eight years. What is being hyped as a failure of leadership in the media might actually be the victory of cooler heads during a crisis...assuming something actually gets done.

But I digress, my real point was to follow up on my prophecy that Sarah Palin would be slowly embarrassed by the pressures of being a wildly unqualified person running for national office. And I present to you the Katie Couric interview:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LE9BWP84sLo

She can't name a newspaper she reads??? She has to have John McCain sit beside her and answer questions for her??? Qualified women everywhere take a L on this one. The same way qualified black guys were set back 12 years by Clarence Thomas. No wonder Conservatives are against Affirmative Action, they suck at it.

Album Review: Beck 'Modern Guilt'

2008-09-28T16:18:00.000-07:00

You might remember Beck from your wacky high school/college dance parties during the Odelay and Midnight Vultures days. If you're into Scientology you might know him from temple/stargate or whatever you go to.

In any case, Beck has stepped away from hipster dance party soundtracks to do a wider array of music in recent years and his latest album was produced by Danger Mouse of Gnarls Barkley and DANGERDOOM fame. If you (like me) thought that meant Beck was going to start rapping again, you'd be wrong. Voting Republican in this election wrong.

I must say this album caught me a little bit off guard. Pretty much every song is an interesting combination of folksy lyrics and beats that bump but don't bang. Its like a combination of 'Sea Change' and 'Guero'. Which is pretty much indescribable with out coming off as a pretentious d-bag.

The Verdict: This album is awesome to listen to on a walk/subway/bus ride, but its too short and not exciting enough to play anywhere else. B+

"Gamma Ray":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heXFhY7y1EI

Chris Rock on Larry King

2008-09-26T12:52:00.000-07:00

http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhxuxesG4S84aG1Kmp

G.O.P. Throws In The Towel

2008-09-24T20:40:00.000-07:00

McCain has the worst advisers ever. First the pick of Sarah Palin has turned into the Hindenburg like disaster I predicted it would be. Today his political stunt of "suspending" his campaign was the final nail in the coffin. Even racist ads aren't going to save this one (although to be fair, Obama has also ran some pretty mean ads lately).

What would give these guys the impression the public wouldn't notice his "suspension" came on the heels of a significant post RNC slide in the polls?

What made them think we wouldn't notice that neither Senators Obama and McCain can do much about the bailout considering they aren't on the proper congressional committees?

What made them think a President should postpone communicating with voters during a time of political crisis?

Bob Dole just fell down and hes not getting up. Check the Letterman Pwnage:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjkCrfylq-E

Poll Result: Fellas Want Junk in The Trunk

2008-09-23T08:30:00.000-07:00

The result of this poll ended up being much closer than anticipated. A woman with a nice grill came pretty close to dethroning the girl with much back.

So the most important question in times like these is clear:

Would you hit on a girl with a nice body, but no teeth? And what about its inverse?

Bodonkadonk Butt	44%	20
Big Breastisises	4%	2
Nice Face	40%	18
Her Personality	11%	5

45 votes total

What is truly sad is how personality lagged in this poll. What a bunch of shallow, shallow people my friends, family and close associates are. Now if you excuse me I'm off to the Riviera to talk politics with the ladies.

Justin's Economic Plan

2008-09-22T19:11:00.000-07:00

Give every man, woman and child in America $1 million. This way we can pay all those back bills, mortgages, tuition and even get that SUV with TV's in the wheels. Consider the economy stimulized.

While it may sound absurd, my economic plan costs about $699 billion less than George Bush's bailout for the greedy. This way, the people actually benefit from the use of their tax dollars and I become a bigger sex symbol in the eyes of the people than I am now. Oh yea, we also might avoid the worst impending budget crisis evar.

Congrats Taxpayers!

2008-09-20T11:10:00.000-07:00

You just bought a bunch of banks and insurance companies for $700 billion dollars! You don't get any stock options or health care though. Cause that would be too expensive and a government intervention into the private sector.

Socialism for wall street, capitalism for main street.

Check it from the New York Times.

Maury= Best Show Evar

2008-09-16T10:04:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had walking limonia???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBIJKmcsGQE

The Tragedy of Sarah Palin

2008-09-11T22:24:00.000-07:00

I actually have come to feel sorry for this lady. She was plucked from obscurity by John McCain (who only met her once) as a cynical ploy to inject youth and diversity into a dying campaign. As the former mayor of Wasilla and current Governor of Alaska, she couldn't have imagined the type of scrutiny shes going to be under in the next 8 weeks. She knows now...

Despite the McCain camps attempts to shield her from any situation in which she isn't:

1. Standing by his side at a rally
2. Reading a mean spirited speech written by Bush aides off a teleprompter

her stunning lack of qualifications to be Vice-President are going to filter down to the public and she is going to be slowly embarrassed by the media. Not because the media is evil and sexist, but because her selection is a cheap political gimmick.

For instance, take her stunning lack of knowledge about American foreign affairs. In her first and only television interview, Gov. Palin didn't even know what the Bush Doctrine is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgMWhrCzbdk

For the record, the Bush Doctrine is the belief that the United States has the right to preemptively attack any nation or entity it determines as an eminent threat to its security. This is the very doctrine which was used to justify the invasion of Iraq (where Sarah Palin's son is serving) due to their supposed weapons of mass destruction(read: old AK-47s).

How can any serious person running for Vice-President not even be aware of the current administration's most central foreign policy idea? And why would any compassionate person put someone who doesn't know this information in a televised debate with Senator Joe Biden? Honestly as a Liberal, I don't find anything particularly funny or satisfying about this.

The real loser here is women. There are far more qualified women in the Republican Party (Senator Kay Bailey Hutchinson) who were passed over for not being young and attractive enough to repackage McCain's (read: Bush's) ideas. And if that isn't sexism, then I don't know what is.

The Funniest Shit This Week

2008-09-10T20:24:00.000-07:00

This is what ninjas be saying in a rap battle:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJnCZOw3igY

Album Review: Gza 'Pro Tools'

2008-09-07T16:34:00.000-07:00

So this is the 4th or 5th solo album form the Wu-tang Clan's Gza who also did 'Liquid Swords'. The only question is; does the arch lyricist still have it 15 years after 'Enter the 36 Chambers'?

Initially I had relatively low expectations for this album. It seems that all Wu-tang solo projects not by Ghostface Killah have been a bit spotty. But 'Pro Tools' is pretty damn good. Its really good because its sticks to the basic formula that got everybody on Gza's n-u-t-s back in the day; awesome lyricism, songs with consistent themes/storytelling and soul inspired beats.

Oddly enough, the album's best track is "Life is a Movie" which breaks from the soul sample formula for a wicked flip of 80's synth pop star Gary Numan's "Films". Check it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-SAYggkDBE

"7 Pounds" is also a certified banger:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tnv7JIOsNwg

The Verdict: Hip-Hop may be dead, but Wu-tang is forever muthatruckers.

Thoughts on the RNC

2008-09-04T09:50:00.000-07:00

Since the Republican Party doesn't have a particular vision for the country and their policies have been a near total failure, they've stooped to having a bunch of tomato cans (Fred Thompson, really?) make vapid, ironic and sometimes poorly delivered attacks on Barack Obama's advocacy for unemployed people, "the liberal media", "elites" and the usual right-wing fare. So much for the sunny optimism and national vision of Ronald Reagan.

I've never seen a national convention in which the only major policy proposal offered by any of the speakers was to drill for more oil. Did anyone hear anything substantive about the middle class, education, immigration reform or foreign policy in the last two days? And no, bombing Iran does not count as a foreign policy.

Its fairly clear that the G.O.P's internal polling is telling them the only way they can beat Barack Obama is to make this election about him and not the ideas of either Party. The only problem is their attacks make them look petty to anyone moderately objective.

Prime example, we've heard for months that Barack Obama wasn't experienced enough to be President. His graduation at the top of his class in Constitutional Law at Harvard, 8 years in Illinois State Government and one term in the U.S. Senate on the Foreign Relations Committee is supposedly a resume to thin to be leader of the free world. Fair enough.

But then John McCain selects someone with a bachelors degree in journalism and only 20 months experience as Governor of state with a population dwarfed by the city of Chicago as his potential replacement...damn.

Jon Stewart pretty much sums up how the G.O.P has become a parody of itself (like Spinal Tap except its not funny and murders Iraqis) that is going to have to do some serious soul searching after losing this Presidential election and perhaps another 20 seats in Congress:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQK1al91drs

The Sensible Case Against Obama

2008-08-31T12:52:00.000-07:00

From Harlem's own Pastor James Manning:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6O6iF8h306o

Thoughts on the DNC

2008-08-29T14:15:00.000-07:00

So I'm watching the clips of the Democratic National Convention and it appears to have been a star studded gangbang on John McCain's face. Naturally, I was interested in how Obama's acceptance speech went at Milehigh Stadium.

While I'd say it wasn't his best speech (The 2004 DNC, Iowa and South Carolina take those honors), he certainly hit another home run in front of audience of 38 million households. That viewership is old Star Jones large in industry terms.

But hey, me liking an Obama speech is like me being fond of chicken...its just assumed to be a law of nature. I think this life long Arch-Conservative's reaction pretty much summed it up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0Fru4dZLGA

Joe Biden seems to have worked out well as a VP choice. While many people will foucus on his vast exprience in international affairs, his biggest assest is his ability to attack the G.O.P in a joe blow, six pack drinking, working class(read: shit talking white guy) style that Obama can't. He's also a big deal in Pennslyvania.

I see John McCain has picked a true tommato can as his running mate. After months of complaing about Obama's 15 years of public service as insufficient preperation for the White House, he picks a woman who served a whole 20 months in the Alaskan government to be one (old and faint) heartbeat away from the big button. Its pretty much the most insulting female choice for VP since Geraldine Ferraro was offered up for sacarafice against Reagan back in the day (turns out these were the only female picks for vp...damn thats sad). John McCain can't possibly aruge against affirmitave action and not look like a bigger tool with this pick.

Stay tuned for my final electoral map that will own your face.

Got Milk?

2008-08-25T04:27:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wish I could be a child again:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMWIGOB9yhE

Ask Justin!

2008-08-18T10:11:00.000-07:00

I'm going to getting my Ireland and France on in the next few days. Take this time out to ask me any questions that burn in your mind. Note: My predictions don't apply to the subjects of paternity or sexually transmitted diseases.

Peace,
Justin a.k.a Black Barney the Dinosaur

Hypocrisy Alert: John McCain Against War!

2008-08-13T18:39:00.000-07:00

Lets get this straight. When Russia invades a smaller country, its a violation of international law. When America invades a country, its a pillar of American foreign policy. Now thats what I call speaking on the issues with moral authority:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTt9qN_iteo

R.I.P Bernie Mac

2008-08-09T08:47:00.000-07:00

George Carlin, Richard Jeni and now Bernie Mac are dead. Carrot Top...still alive. Damn. This is how you rock Def Jam:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RviYo3WsqjU

Newsflash: Crazy White Mofo Caught by Authorities!

2008-08-08T20:34:00.000-07:00

I can't believe this was only in the news for like a minute. John Edwards getting some stank on his haglow cause his wife is not in the mood (on account of slowly dying from cancer) got more coverage than this. Perhaps reporting about the thousands of cracka ass crackas waiting to bust a shot at the Junior Senator from Illinois ruins the whole "Barack Obama's success means America is not a racist country" angle.

You have to wonder how many crazy white dudes have threatened Obama's life in the last year or so. Whats really disturbing is that Obama himself is half cracka ass cracka. I could see Wesley Snipes taking a shot from some Timothy McVeigh type dude, but a Philip Michael Thomas black President having to watch his back is just ridiclous. Check it from the Wall Street Journal:

WASHINGTON -- A Florida man is being held without bond, accused of threatening to shoot Sen. Barack Obama if the Democrat from Illinois wins the presidential election.

David Weinstein, speaking for the U.S. attorney's office in Miami, said prosecutors thought the case was serious enough to take forward. It is the first such publicly announced arrest for threats against Sen. Obama.

According to the affidavit made to support the complaint, Raymond Hunter Geisel, 22 years old, made the threats against Sen. Obama while attending a bail-bondsman training class in Miami that ran July 21 through Aug. 1.

According to Secret Service Special Agent Paul Adie, a fellow student in the class said she heard Mr. Geisel say of Sen. Obama "that n-, if he gets elected, I'll assassinate him myself."

A second student interviewed told the agent that she heard Mr. Geisel say he hated George W. Bush and that he wanted to put a bullet in the president's head.

The Secret Service was alerted to the threat by Miami-Dade police, who had received a report of the threat. When questioned Aug. 1 by Mr. Adie, Mr. Geisel denied making the threats but then told the agent that if he wanted to kill the senator he would "simply shoot him with a sniper rifle." Mr. Geisel then claimed he was joking.

The affidavit said that Mr. Geisel said he has been treated for post-traumatic stress disorder. The affidavit says that Mr. Geisel claimed to have been in a mental-health facility in Maine. However, he couldn't provide the name or dates, the affidavit said.

A search of Mr. Geisel's vehicle and hotel room turned up numerous rounds of ammunition, a machete, tear gas, several knives and a loaded 9mm handgun with four loaded magazines, the affidavit said.

Mr. Geisel, during questioning, said he used the gun on the firing range during the bail-bondsman course. He said that the knives were for protection and that the machete and hatchet were for cutting brush in Maine. A federal magistrate judge said Mr. Geisel was a flight risk and a danger to the community and ordered him detained. His next court appearance is Aug. 18. His federal public defender was unavailable for comment. The maximum penalty for the threat is five years in prison.

Sen. Obama was traveling in Florida at the time of the investigation.

Insane Wrestling Promo of the Week

2008-08-07T16:01:00.000-07:00

Another classic monologue from none other than the Ultimate Warrior. $100 to anyone who can best summarize what hes saying in the comments section:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_Qgw3YSNtg

Some Things To Keep In Mind About Iraq

2008-08-01T18:52:00.000-07:00

If you let the corporate media tell it, Iraq has become Disneyland in the last few months. Disneyland with only 1/3 less car bombs! Let some willfully uninformed right wing pundit or John McCain tell it, the decrease in violence is due to the "surge" of American troops there. While I don't claim to be an expert in managing oppressive, illegal military occupations, I imagine this is a bit too simplistic (i.e. misleading) of an assessment of the situation there.

Wouldn't any reasonable person assume any decrease in violence in Iraq would have something to do with the Iraqi people? Well it turns out if you have Google, you can tell Iraq's decrease in violence has less to do with American military strategy than the hype would have you believe.

It seems that just before the "surge", American tax dollars started being used to bribe Sunni militias to stop shooting at American troops like hotcakes. You may have heard this racket referred to as the "Sunni Awakening". If recent American history has taught us anything, bribing your enemy because you share a common enemy always ends up becoming a cruel lesson in irony.

It also seems the second largest army in Iraq, led by Shia cleric Muqtada al-Sadr declared a cease fire. When you ask? During the surge!

So essentially, we are bribing the Sunnis with money/weapons and Al-Sadr is biding his time. What the fuck does any of this have to do with American military strategy? And if security is so improved, than why do Iraqis still lack the basic services of a modern nation state? Its like the Iraq war wasn't fought for the welfare of the Iraqi people! Could you imagine!

Could it be that our media has repeatedly failed to give us a realistic picture of whats actually going on in Iraq in lieu of simple talking points serving a specific political agenda? Nah, that could never happen right? Good thing the majority of the American people don't really care if the escalation is working or not. One thing we all know is you can coat a cow patty in chocolate, but its still just bullshit.

Holy Moses, I just became Ross Perot.

Damn You've Just Been Pwned!

2008-07-31T13:59:00.000-07:00

Further proof that the white man stays losing in fist fights:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgAgifClrt8

Poll Result: NES is the Best Game System

2008-07-29T22:13:00.000-07:00

Nintendo Entertainment System	40%	8
Sega Genesis	25%	5
Super Nintendo	15%	3
Playstation	5%	1
X-Box	15%	3

20 votes total

As it turns out nobody really gave a shit about this poll. Good. You are grown ass men, stop smoking so much chronic and playing video games at your mamma's crib.

Bonus: "Murray's Revenge" by Murs (everything about this is off the chain):

http://youtube.com/watch?v=vRcsDYVnsFw

The Funniest Shit This Week

2008-07-27T11:58:00.000-07:00

Gilbert Gottfried ranting about sex. Nuff said:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=7bLw0SE_RhY

Album Review: Nas 'Untitled'

2008-07-20T16:39:00.000-07:00

The album formerly known as "Nigger" (or as I say ninja) by the artist formerly known as "Escobar"has been out for about a week or so. Honestly it took me 30 or 40 listens to formulate an opinion on this, which is in stark contrast to Lil Wayne's last album which pretty sucks balls from the jump.

First of all, this is one of the craziest hip-hop concept albums I've every heard. Did Paul Mooney write this or something?

Nearly every single song centers around racial stereotypes and taboo language. "Fried Chicken" deals with the topic of soul food being delicious but pretty much the most deadly stuff on earth. Whats funny is white people eat waaaaaay more fried chicken than black people. Who the fuck else has made KFC the biggest chicken place on the planet? If black people had their say, Churches and Popeyes would mos def be fortune 500 companies. Anywhoo, the former title track "N.I.G.G.E.R (the Slave and the Master)" is a introspective piece about how black people have the key to their salvation.

"Y'all my niggas" makes fun of those civil rights types (a.k.a unemployed people who speak for all of us on cable news) who attempt to ban language without paying any attention to the history of the word and the social conditions they describe. He does this by calling the Al Sharpton's of the world....you guessed it: niggas! You know the endearing spelling with the a.s. at the end that only black people can use in public without:

1. Getting their ass kicked (hard).

2. Alienating liberal white friends that dated a black dude in college or voted for Obama.

3. Having to go on tv, apologize to Jesse Jackson and reassure us all how not racist you really are and your use of N-bomb was an isolated incident.

But I digress. By the nature of its subject matter, this album wasn't made for mass consumption. Its somehow less commercial than any of Nas' previous efforts. In fact, the only songs on this album that suck balls are the ones made for the radio (the single 'Hero' comes to mind here).

The Verdict: For an album mostly about Jigs, this is pretty entertaining. But like all Nas albums not named Illmatic and Stillmatic, the couple of awful songs with sucky beats drag the album into near classic to pretty good territory.

Bonus, Nas' Fox News diss:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=T6Uqk3fxFEs

Insane Wrestling Promo of the Week

2008-07-14T20:39:00.000-07:00

Only Rowdy Roddy Piper could do a promo in black face in the name of black power:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=zaarFlq36YM

To All Cougars: Get at Me

2008-07-09T11:53:00.000-07:00

By now you should be familiar with the phenomena known as Cougars: hot divorced ladies who are over 30 and like to holla at young dudes. I would just like to go on record right now and let me be absolutely clear...I'm trying to get with a Cougar on that late night tip.

The reasons for this are many. But mostly, I'm just pretty lazy and willing to take advantage of a woman's insecurities. If a grown woman wants to take care of me financially in exchange for sexual favors, that's her right as an American. Also I imagine these broads gotta be pretty good in the sack considering they had to leave someone who was their age for a younger, stronger and more eager lower back. That rhymed, in your face Soulja Boy.

Anyway. If a woman agrees to pay my t-mobile or student loans, the least I can do is promise more than eight pumps on the regular right? Also I don't mean to sound like a John McCain supporter, but experience matters here. When it comes to intimacy, I don't have time for on the job training. I need someone who is ready to do the job in a crisis on day one. These ladies have been through the fire as seasoned combat veterans.

In conclusion, I've done a few things in my life, but splashing a 40 year-old isn't one of them. If you're a hot old(ish) lady reading this right now, know that you can get it in the back of your Toyota Corolla whenever you want. You're kids can even call me step dad, but let them know that only you call me daddy.

Holla:

Jim Crow - Holla At A Playa
Vezi mai multe video din Muzica »

A Letter In Support of InBev

2008-07-05T10:40:00.000-07:00

I know all my friends back home in Saint Louis have been up in arms about the attempts of greedy Belgian mega-corporation InBev to buy out fellow greedy mega-corporation Budweiser. Allow me to chime in if I may.

Fuck Budweiser. On the food chain of beers, Bud is McDonald's: you only fuck with it because its cheap and plentiful. In contrast, beers made in Belgium fucking own. Even American made beers modeled after Belgian beers (Fat Tire) make Bud products taste like the swill that they are. You guys realize that calling your Senators to keep Bud Ice American looks kinda silly considering we are torturing and killing innocent people like hotcakes right now? If I was Matt Blunt (a douche) I would tell you guys to get off my telephone with that bullshit. But I digress.

Furthermore, Budweiser has bought out how many smaller companies in the last couple of decades? I remember when Rolling Rock (a good beer) was made in Pennsylvania. Now its made in St. Louis, probably in the same room with the Natty Ice. Fuck that.

In conclusion, I think that all the patriotic fever is a bit misplaced on a company that has made a fortune on selling some pretty inferior products. I also imagine Belgians treat their workers better than American companies...call it an educated guess.

With all that said, if InBev tries to buy Boulevard or Sam Adams, we've got a motherfucking problem.

p.s. You guys know I love me some Natty Ice and Bud heavy, but to compare those to Hoegarden or Becks is just fucking retarded.

The Conservative Hollywood Machine Speaks

2008-07-02T13:14:00.002-07:00

Move over Oprah, George Clooney and Tim Robbins. The conservative movement has finally produced a star big enough to balance Tinseltown's well documented liberal bias. Stephen Baldwin, co-star of "Bio-dome" has declared that if Barack Obama wins the election, he will leave the country. The real question here is will anyone including the talented wing of the Baldwin family even notice? Check this stupid shit:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=BZduUyUyl0A
On second thought, isn't the G.O.P being Stephen Baldwin (a not so talented over the hill white guy) vs. the Democrats as Oprah (a dynamic, powerful and magnetic personality) actually a fitting metaphor for this election?

Track Review: Busta Rhymes "Don't Touch Me Now"

2008-06-30T19:48:00.000-07:00

We all fell in love with Busta Rhymes (no homo) for his rapid fire delivery and eccentric videos. But then he kinda started hanging out with the douchebags over at G-Unit and moved away from the formula (rapping abilty + creativity) that still has me banging "When Disaster Strikes" every once and a while.

Well have no fear, the old Busta is back with the machine gun flow, weed carrier Splif Starr and silly hats. Check the new(ish) fly shit yo:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=sl0kXbEa66I

Album Review: Portishead 'Third'

2008-06-25T17:28:00.000-07:00

You may remember Portishead as on the of the leading acts of the genre known as Trip-Hop, which Archeologists indicate existed from about 1993-1998. Well they've finally got around to making a third record, so the big question is: does their signature sound of grimy samples and depressing, deep female vocals still translate a decade since their last album?

The short answer is hell yes. Somehow this album has managed to be darker than the last two. And when I say dark, I'm talking about N.I.N 'Downward Spiral' dark. Like Wesley Snipes in the Congo at midnight dark. As a testament to how awesome Beth Gibbons is a singer, consider only a couple of tracks on the album have conventional melodies (I dare you to sing along with her). Then consider 'Third' is perhaps more listenable then their previous efforts. The only downside to the LP is they seem to have abandoned the use of turntables, which is a shame because dude could scratch.

The Verdict: I tried to commit suicide at least three times while listening to this album. So that means Portishead is back bitches!

"Machine Gun",the banging Summer club single which will give Soulja Boy a run for his money :

http://youtube.com/watch?v=5pkeDsG2MKA

Revrend Justin Williams Speaks

2008-06-24T14:19:00.001-07:00

Here's the text of my remarks during the wedding of Ben Cook and Carrie McAtee in Rocky Mountain National Park. If you need a holy man holla:

We gather here on this beautiful summer day, to join Benjamin Cook and Carrie McAtee in holy matrimony.

I’m sure that it’s evident to some of you that I’m no veteran of these ceremonies. In a situation like this, I’m reminded of the wisdom of Forrest Gump who once said “I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is.” And we all can recognize love when we see it.

Love is meeting in high school through mutual concert going friends from Ray-Pec and Lee’s Summit.

Love is most certainly the acceptance of man who uses discarded popcorn tubs at the movies to get free refills during dates at the movies.

Love is the confidence to take a leap of faith and start a serious relationship despite knowing you are going to college hundreds of miles apart.

Love is having the dedication and the trust to maintain and grow that relationship despite the distance between College Station TX and Columbia MO for 3 years.

Love is moving in together during the winter of 2005 and finally being able to experience the company of good friends, aquariums, Nintendo wii and of course beer pong together.

Love is sharing passion for nature, wildlife and conservation that has taken them around the globe. From a cruise ship touring the Caribbean, a tent in the tropical rainforests of Peru, an apartment in Swamplands of Texas and soon a trailer in Mountains of Arizona.

And today in the Rocky Mountains we celebrate that enduring love and their union:

Do you both promise to be faithful, supportive, and loyal and to give your companionship and love throughout all the joys and changes of your life.

Do you promise to support each others dreams, and walk beside each other offering courage and strength through all the endeavors in your lives; wherever they may take you.

Do you promise from this day forward, to be proud of your wife/husband and best friends.

By the power recently vested in me by Universal Ministries.com and the State of Colorado, I know pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride.

Ladies and Gentleman, it is my honor to present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Benjamin Cook!

R.I.P George Carlin

2008-06-23T09:28:00.000-07:00

Growing up there were three people who made me want to be funny: Richard Pryor, Rodney Dangerfield and George Carlin. Carlin was an absolute master at showing the absurdity of our culture and he decades of tirades to prove it:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3PiZSFIVFiU

Album Review: Lil Wayne 'Tha Carter III'

2008-06-17T20:05:00.000-07:00

This album is everything I suspected it would be. HOT GARBAGE. Let me summarize every Lil Wayne song for you. Lil Wayne ironically thinks hes the best rapper alive and hes assembled a vast array of incoherent, lazy and downright silly metaphors to reinforce his point.

Usually Lil Wayne is exposed as the unadulterated media hype that he is when paired next to and summarily embarrassed by mc's like Kanye West (Barry Bonds) and Jay-Z (Hello Brooklyn 2.0). But a track on 'Tha Carter III' has Lil Wayne being shown up by the likes of Cam'ron weed carrier Juelz Santana and Mase rip off Fabulous. To further add insult to injury, Wayne has even taken the time out to bite Nas' album cover for the classic Illmatic, which is technically third-hand dick riding considering Notroius B.I.G bit it first.

Best rapper alive indeed.......

The Verdict: If you paid money for this, you're a sucker. If you think Lil Wayne is the best rapper alive, you either have mental illness or are just unaware that Rakim, Big Daddy Kane, Chuck D., Jay-Z, Krs-One, Ghostface Killah, Slick Rick, Redman, Melle Mel, Common, Scarface, LL Cool J and dozens of other Mc's way better than him are all still very much alive.

Seriously who likes this shit?:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=dNvO6Fjz2qQ

Why DMX Should Host Meet the Press

2008-06-16T19:57:00.001-07:00

With the tragic passing of Tim Russert this last week, the media needs a non partisan journalist to bring the truth to the people. Based on a his recent interview with XXL Magazine, its abundantly clear that rapper DMX is that man. Check his assessment of the election:

Are you following the presidential race?
Not at all.

You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.
Barack?!

Barack.
What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?

Yeah.
What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
I ain’t really paying much attention.

I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.

So you’re not following the race. You can’t vote right?
Nope.

Is that why you’re not following it?
No, because it’s just—it doesn’t matter. They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do. It doesn’t really make a difference. These are the last years.

But it would be pretty big if we had a first Black president. That would be huge.
I mean, I guess…. What, they gon’ give a dog a bone? There you go. Ooh, we have a Black president now. They should’ve done that shit a long time ago, we wouldn’t be in the fuckin’ position we in now. With world war coming up right now. They done fucked this shit up then give it to the Black people, “Here you take it. Take my mess.”

Right, exactly.
It’s all a fuckin’ setup. It’s all a setup. All fuckin’ bullshit. All bullshit. I don’t give a fuck about none of that.

We could have a female president also, Hillary Clinton.
I mean, either way it doesn’t matter. I don’t care. No one person is directly affected by which president, you know, so what does it matter.

Yeah, but the country is.
I guess. The president is a puppet anyway. The president don’t make no damn decisions.

The president…they don’t have that much authority basically?
Nah, never.

Craziest Email Evar!

2008-06-10T22:36:00.000-07:00

This shit is circulating about Barack Obama, check how many inaccuracies and one size fits all generalizations you can find:

Could Obama be the Anti-Christ?

1.- He will come as a man of Peace (Obama promises peace in Iraq)

2.- He will come mounted on a white Female horse (Obama mother is white who had 2 African husbands)

3.- He will come to deceive (Obama says he's a Christian but in fact he was born a Muslim)

4.- He will make himself the most powerful man on earth, if elected (president)

5.- People faint at his speeches (like it says in the Bible that people will be mesmorized by the Antichrist's words)

6.- He will present himself as good and righteous

7.- Barack Hussein Obama is the 'King of the South' predicted in the Bible. (Daniel 11, Kenya is south of Jerusalem)

8.- Obama comes to implant muslim Sharia Law upon America.

9.- Obama hails from Chicago whose zipcode is 60606 (do you see the three sixes ?)

10.-Obama is left handed (Bible says devil is left-handed)

11.-People flock to Obama's side like sheep (Bible says the people will do the same to the Antichrist)

Obama would be a 'black' president in the 'white' house (satan is described as black in attribute and who seeks to take over the white mansion known as heaven).

Please think about this, before you give him your vote. If he is elected President, The United States of America will fall from within, just like it is says in The Bible!!!!

The Funniest Shit This Week

2008-06-09T22:13:00.000-07:00

A hilarious view of Wesley Snipes' upcoming prison stint:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LQMRFN9I5k

Album Review: The Cool Kids 'Bake Sale'

2008-06-05T16:33:00.000-07:00

The Cool Kids are two young cats from the suburbs of Chicago who have an affinity for old school hip-hop aesthetics. Their lyrics are about herringbone gold chains, gazelle frames and of course pagers. The beats are a throwback to the bass heavy tracks of Uncle Luke, Eric B. or Rick Rubin.

Make no mistakes, this ep isn't just some ironic hipster bullshit or a simple rip off of old school rap, these guys can actually rhyme. Which always helps in rap, but has been deemed increasingly less necsecary by record company execs.

The Verdict: If you like tunes that sound like Jay-z's 99 problems (produced by Rick Rubin), you'll really like this album. Solid shit to bang in your ipod.

Meet the Cool Kids, its a song about rolling hard on big boy (bike) rims:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b34U3-CutuU

Let the Games Begin Baby!

2008-06-03T20:03:00.001-07:00

Tonight the general election has finally begun, despite Hillary Clinton's refusal to display class, dignity or grace. John McCain gave a speech in front of 100 old people which basically confirmed my suspicions that he is:

A. A tomato can with no real platform.

B. This election's version of Bob Dole.

Watch as 45 years after Martin Luther King's 'I Have A Dream Speech', the first African-American becomes a major nominee for the White House:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xxa0ihsoiYI&eurl=

Remember, despite how clear this decision is for you and me, the voters of West Virginia remind us that we still have work to do:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwZ--jw_YIE

R.I.P The Skyhawk (1989-2007)

2008-05-29T16:35:00.000-07:00

Thats right, the same 1989 Buick Skyhawk that took me to high school, college and gave me a place to recieve my first handroll, unexpectedly burst into flames (the driver was unhurt) on Providence road in Columbia, Mo. sometime last winter. What can I say, this car was special. One summer it lost two sparkplugs on I-70, but somehow allowed me to drive 60 miles into Columbia on second gear with the pedal to the metal. When I took the car to the mechanic, he looked at me and simply remarked:

How did you drive this car here, its only firing on two cylinders!?

But the Buick would not be defined by the laws of mechanical engineering...thats for pussies. From the duct tape on the plug wires, the rumbling chassis when the car approached 60 MPH, to the droopy celing with asbestos-like material flying around when I rolled the windows down in the summer due to a lack of freeon, this car was the definition of gully.

Please take a moment to share your fondest memories of this marvelous 4 cylidner powerhouse in the comments section. I know this is a difficult time for all of us.

Poll Result: Bill'0 Is the Biggest Cable News D-bag

2008-05-23T05:26:00.000-07:00

The people have spoken. Bill'O is the biggest d-bag on cable news. Personally, I think Sean Hannity is a bigger d-bag due to his ASTOUNDING levels of intellectual dishonesty, racism and xenophobia. O'reilly just strikes me as patriotic, uninformed and ratings conscious. In any case, here is Bill's most shinning moment of d-baggery, shouting down the son of a 9/11 vicitm (in the name of 9-11 victims) when he refuses to play along witht the post-tragedy drumbeat for blind revenge which led us in Iraq:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=2IwIRNM5noY&feature=related

Biggest Cable News D-Bag:

Votes
Lou Dobbs 8% 5
Sean Hannity 27% 18
Bill 'O 55% 36
Keith Olbermann 2% 1
Tucker Carlson 9% 6

66 votes total

Right Wing Talking Points= Mostly Bullshit

2008-05-15T20:36:00.000-07:00

This clip reveals how quickly the vast majority of conservative talking points collapse under the scrutiny of simple facts. Check Chris Matthews destroying one of these talk radio douches who believes that if you repeat a lie, it makes it true:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1wSZBTAXRs&eurl=

Other common right-wing myths that are utter bullshit:

Myth: Welfare is only for thieving black women who have a bunch of children and drive Cadillacs.
Fact: Whites receive nearly the same percentage of welfare dollars as blacks and Hispanics. blacks and Hispanics are disproportionately represented in poverty stats due to obvious historic/systemic reasons. But you never hear conservative diatribes against the white welfare recipients who equal and exceed their numbers. Those same whites coincidently, are prone to voting for cutting their own welfare payments because they are under the perception that minorites are abusing the system, see the election of David Duke in Louisiana.

Myth: Immigrants constitute a negative presence in the economy by straining social services.
Fact: While some immigrants certainly use American resources, its generally accepted by any honest economist that immigrants generate billions of dollars via sales/ property/social security and payroll taxes which at the very least balance any strains they place on the social sector. Thats not even mentioning the agricultural industry that would fold without them.

Myth: Government intervention in the health-care industry would cause a crisis.
Fact: As the richest nation in the world, we are already currently in a health crisis. The population is literally consuming itself to death and most can't afford to see a doctor even if they are lucky enough to have insurance. The big question is: what don't we have in common with the rest of the industrialized world? Oh yea, we have medicine strictly for profit. This is not to suggest that socialized health-care doesn't have lines or doesn't cost a good deal of money, but its all about priorities. Most other industrialized nations aren't' trying to occupy Iraq, they would rather be able to see a doctor. Currently the U.S.A's health-care system is ranked an awesome 37th in the world...13 spots under Cyprus!

Myth: Ronald Reagan ended the Cold War and grew the economy.
Fact: While Reagan gave some good speeches and his escalation in defense spending did play a role in stretching the Soviet economy, giving him sole credit for causing the collapse of the Soviet Union is incredibly simplistic. First Mikhail Gorbachev's political reforms and their subsequent failure are an undeniable catalyst for the fall of the Russian empire.

Reagan also didn't significantly deviate from foreign policy reforms towards Europe enacted by the Carter administration. Yet Jimmy Carter's policy of supporting democracy and human rights abroad gets lost in the debate about the end of the Cold War. This makes him easier to caricature as a failed President. Reagan also escalated the Cold War in countries like El Salvador and Nicaragua where American sponsored thugs murdered and raped hundreds of thousands of people.

On the economic side, his unsustainable defense spending (much of it on unusable technologies like Star Wars), cuts to taxes and social services created a budget crisis that would haunt the country until George Bush was forced to raise taxes in 1990. In fact, the Reagan years accelerated what would become the largest transfer of wealth in American history. Needless to say, this was not good for anyone accept the guy from 'American Psycho'.

A Happy Mother's Day Message From Peru

2008-05-11T22:39:00.000-07:00

From my department mate, Luis "Lucho" Gomez:

Dear folks,

Hope that you are o.k. Happy mother ´s day to every of your mothers!

And if you are a mother, of course, happy mother´s day!

But if you mother passed away, it is a nice time to remember them.

Saludos,

Lucho Gómez

The Funniest Shit This Week

2008-05-09T17:52:00.000-07:00

Further proof this election jumped the shark months ago:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

I apologize for my lazy posts as of late. After I get done grading papers, doing karate and getting girls pregnant this week, I will be right back with the real deal Holyfield gullyness that you're used to.

A Letter From Senator Obama

2008-05-06T23:05:00.001-07:00

Dear America,

I'm a bad motherfucker.

Peace,
B-Rock

Movie Review: 'Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay'

2008-04-29T22:26:00.000-07:00

Its like watching 'Syriana' if George Clooney's character masturbated on a toilet for two hours. There are some clever bits about cultural stereotypes, race relations, torture and of course... prison fellatio.

The Verdict: Not as good as the first, but not as bad as its detractors will have you believe. I laughed enough for $11, plus I saw Tracee Ellis Ross at the theater.

Media Myths

2008-04-23T21:16:00.000-07:00

1. If Barack Obama doesn't win every single state in the union it is some kind of referendum on his candidacy:

Doesn't anyone find it suspicious that despite winning 30 contests, acquiring an insurmountable delegate lead and raising record amounts of money, the media claims any Hilliary Clinton win constitutes a comeback? Its like hitting a 3 pointer in the fourth quarter and celebrating when your team is still down by 25.

The dumbest arugment you see circulating in the media is that Clinton is winning the "big states". First of all, New York, California, Massachusetts and New Jersey would vote for Al Sharpton if he ran as a Democrat in the general election. Second of all, Obama handily won or will win Georgia, Illinois, North Carolina, Missouri, Minnesota, Wisconsin and Virginia. Those are usually considered big states, unless you are some media spin machine d-bag who dismisses entire blocs of voters to make your failed candidate look good.

2. Darfur is the world's worst humanitarian crisis:

Objectively, this dubious honor actually goes to Iraq. Since the end of the first Gulf War economic sanctions killed at least 500,000 children. Our current occupation has killed 80,000-90,000 people and displaced another estimated 4.2 million people.

The newest estimates place the total number of deaths in the Sudan at 300,000 with an estimated 2.4 million refugees. Imagine if the American intervention (read aggression) in Iraq was talked about in its proper context, as an act of genocide against a country that never attacked us.

But we do have the moral authority to tell the Chinese to leave Tibet...

3. John McCain is a "maverick":

He's pro-Iraqi occupation, pro-Iran saber rattling and pro-Bush tax cuts for the wealthy in the context of record deficits, economic recession and infrastructural collapse. He also doesn't have a health care plan. What a refreshing break from previous Republican policy!

Iraq= A Failed State

2008-04-21T21:15:00.000-07:00

If they weren't preoccupied with 60's radicals and Louis Farrakhan, ABC News would be reporting information like this to the American people. Check out this article from the New York Times which essentially proves the Iraqi people are somehow far, far, far worse off under the American occupation than under Saddam's Regime.

Of course the most important question about our Iraq policy is, does it wear a flag lapel pin?

Action Alert: ABC Sucks Deese Nuts

2008-04-16T21:56:00.000-07:00

So theres a Presidential debate on network television, a week before a primary and ABC decides to ask over 45 minutes worth of questions that came straight from the National Enquirer. Example:

Moderator: Barack Obama is it true you once watched 'Mississippi Burning' and if so, why do you hate Jews?

Barack Obama: What....the....fuck

Hillary Clinton: I told you that Black dude hates Jews! Did I mention I got shot at in Bosnia?

Moderator: Hillary Clinton, why does Barack Obama lie about hating the Jews?

Email these d-bags and let them know how much their debate and everything else they do thats not college football sucks ass.

All You Need To Know About Hillary Clinton

2008-04-16T19:35:00.000-07:00

Just in case you thought about voting for this lady at any point:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exsmFDYyK4U&eurl=

p.s. Send this to everyone you know. Especially if they live in a state that hasn't voted yet. We have to destroy her, because losing with dignity isn't in her lexicon.

Barack Obama= Gully

2008-04-13T20:31:00.000-07:00

The ridiculousness of this campaign made Obama cut loose today and the result....pwnage. Check it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIxmi3e2Vmo&eurl

Award: Best Shameless Exploitation of 9/11

2008-04-10T10:17:00.000-07:00

Rudy G. surprisingly comes in a close second to the one and only MC Hammer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Cka5DkTVAw&feature=related

This is of course the first and last award MC Hammer will be receiving in the 21st Century.

Thoughts on the Career of Ric Flair

2008-04-07T21:44:00.000-07:00

Its no secret that I love pro wrestling for all its various statements about America and what we find entertaining. Sadly, one of its giants and my personal favorite retired last week.

Ric Flair was more than the greatest wrestler evar, he's a national treasure (Stay with me for a moment).

Not just because he stayed at the top of his game for nearly 40 years, but because of the character he played. He was an innovator of making it cool to be the bad guy. We were all just a bunch of low class hicks whose only mission of life was to bow down. We loved it when Ric reminded us of how much we sucked ever single week on TBS or TNT. He had the technical skills to sell a match for 60 minutes and the type of entertaining mic work that paved the way for guys like the Rock and John Cena. I mean, this dude made wearing a robe with "nature boy" in sequin letters, both masculine and cool.

Its not cliche to say they just don't make em like this anymore.

So without further ado heres my top 3 Ric Flair moments:

1. You're Looking At The Man:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9enMPQtsdA&feature=related

2. The Best Match from Perhaps the Best Rivalry in History:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tdf-2S84Zdw&feature=related

3. Coping With the Hard Reality of Age:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57HbCGhhL7o&feature=related

The Funniest Shit This Week

2008-04-03T10:18:00.000-07:00

Tracy Morgan on the Howard Stern Show. An hour of uncut comedy power. Check it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=777FfdDv2gc

Parts 2-6 are in the window.

Justin Williams= Reverend Justin Williams

2008-03-31T18:39:00.001-07:00

Thats right bitches. I'm officially an ordained minster. I'm legally marrying my friend Ben in June. So if you need to be baptized, married or want to confess your sins....holla at a father.

Proclamation of Ordination

Thank you Reverend Justin Charles Williams

Please understand that IF this is not your LEGAL name, this is not a valid ordination. If it is, there’s no need to worry. We are referring to everything after the “Reverend” part above. You are now legally able to use “Reverend” as part of your name if you wish. Assumed names and “taken” names are NOT acceptable. ALL states require ministers to sign legal contracts with their legal name. This applies to your Ordination Certificate and any Marriage License you may sign. If this name is NOT your legal name, please let us know immediately and we will make the necessary changes. Also, if your name legally changes or other information needs to be updated, please let us know so that the registry has your current information at all times.

Effective Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Just When You Think It Couldn't Get Worse

2008-03-25T11:35:00.000-07:00

Moqtada al-Sadr could be the most powerful man in Iraq. You probably don't know much about him because our media sucks. But the Shia cleric commands a huge militia with considerable impact on the nation's future. In a very real way, hes much more powerful than the Iraqi puppet government which still can't get the nation's power grid up and running.

For instance, the Bush Administration has claimed the Surge ( read: escalation) has been a success due to the decrease of violence in Iraq during the last 6 months. What they aren't telling you is the violence is still off the charts and a major reason it declined was Al-Sadr's milita declaration of a cease-fire about the same time the surge started.

Well it looks like the cease fire is over and that means a great deal more people (including American troops) are going to die in the next few weeks. Check the grim outlook from the A.P.

The great irony of all this is, Al Sadr's rise is directly attributable to the American invasion. Under Saddam the Shia majority was oppressed and kept out of political power by the secular Ba'ath Party. By removing the Ba'ath Party from Iraqi politics, we provided a space for Iranian funded religious leaders like Al Sadr to become power brokers in Iraq. Unlike Saddam, we will not be selling these guys chemical weapons and gunships at any point.

Mo money mo problems indeed.

Poll Result: Soulja Boy Would be the Least Tragic Rap Murder

2008-03-24T18:46:00.000-07:00

To whoever killed Biggie and Tupac, can you please do us a favor and kill a shitty rapper for a change? Check the data:

Which Rapper Should Be Shot Next?
Selection Votes
Soulja Boy 91% 40
Young Jeezy 5% 2
Lil Wayne 0% 0
50 Cent (again) 5% 2

And if you think wishing death on a teenager is cold blooded (I don't), I remind you this d-bag is responsible for eight year olds thinking this is music:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfCmYyG-yg4

Even Fox News Doesn't Think Fox News is Fair

2008-03-21T10:14:00.000-07:00

Check it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiIK8jh3ZCE

Just the Facts on Iraq

2008-03-19T08:17:00.001-07:00

From Senator Harry Reid's Office:

The Cost to Our Forces in Iraq

3,990: American troops who have died in Iraq since the start of the war. [icasualties.org, 3/17/08]

29,395: Number of U.S. service members that have been wounded in hostile action since the start of U.S. military operations in Iraq. [AP, 3/11/08]

60,000: Number of troops that have been subjected to controversial stop-loss measures--meaning those who have completed service commitments but are forbidden to leave the military until their units return from war. [US News and World Report, 2/25/08]

5: Number of times the 3rd Battalion, 4th Marine Regiment has been sent to Iraq. They are the first Marine Corps unit to be sent to Iraq for a fifth time. [San Francisco Chronicle, 2/27/08]

2,100: Number of troops who tried to commit suicide or injure themselves increased from 350 in 2002 to 2,100 last year. [US News and World Report, 2/25/08]

11.9: Percent of noncommissioned Army officers who reported mental health problems during their first Iraq tour [Los Angeles Times, 3/7/08]

27.2: Percent of noncommissioned Army officers who reported mental health problems during their third or fourth Iraq tour [Los Angeles Times, 3/7/08]

The Cost to Our Military Readiness

88: Percent of current and former U.S. military officers surveyed in a recent independent study who believe that the demands of the war in Iraq have "stretched the U.S. military dangerously thin" [Foreign Policy/Center for New American Security, 2/19/08]

94: Percent of Army recruits who had high school diplomas in Fiscal Year 2003 [Larry Korb, The Guardian, 10/12/07]

79: Percent of Army recruits who had high school diplomas in Fiscal Year 2007 [Larry Korb, The Guardian, 10/12/07]

4,644: Number of new Army recruits who were granted moral waivers in Fiscal Year 2003. [Houston Chronicle, 10/14/07]

12,057: Number of new Army recruits who were granted moral waivers in Fiscal Year 2007. [Houston Chronicle, 10/14/07]

67: Percent of captains the Army managed to retain this year, short of its goal of 80 percent, and in spite of cash bonus incentives of up to $35,000 [Armed Services Committee Hearing, 2/26/08]

The Cost to Our National Security

1,188: Number of global terrorist incidents from January - September 11th, 2001. [American Security Project, "Are We Winning?," September 2007]

5,188: Number of global terrorist incidents in from January- September 11th, 2006. [American Security Project, "Are We Winning?," September 2007]

30: Percent increase in violence in Afghanistan from 2006 to 2007. [Reuters, 10/15/07]

21: Number of suicide bombings in Afghanistan in 2001. [Center for American Progress, "The Forgotten Front," 11/07]

139: Number of suicide bombings in Afghanistan in 2006, with an additional increase of 69 percent as of November 2007. [Center for American Progress, "The Forgotten Front," 11/07]

30: Percent of Afghanistan controlled by the Afghan Government according to DNI Mike McConnell. [Associated Press, 2/27/08]

2,380: Days since September 11th, 2001 that Osama Bin Laden has been at-large.

The Cost of Funding the War in Iraq

$50-60 Billion: Bush Administration's pre-war estimates of the cost of the war. [New York Times, 12/31/02]

$12 Billion: Direct cost per month of the Iraq War. [Washington Post, Bilmes and Stiglitz Op-Ed, 3/9/08]

$526 Billion: Amount of money already appropriated by Congress for the War in Iraq. [CRS, 2/22/08]

$3 Trillion: Total estimated cost of the Iraq War. [Washington Post, Bilmes and Stiglitz Op-Ed, 3/9/08]

$5 Trillion - $7 Trillion: Total cost of wars in Iraq and Afghanistan accounting for continued military operations, growing debt and interest payments and continuing health care and counseling costs for veterans. [McClatchy, 2/27/08]

160: Percent that the cost of the Iraq War has increased from 2004 to 2008. [CRS Report, 2/22/08]

The Cost to Iraqis and Journalists

8,000: Number of Iraqi military and police killed since June 2003. [Brookings Institute, Iraq Index, March 13, 2008]

82,000-89,000: Estimate of Iraqi civilians casualties from violence since the beginning of the Iraq War. [Iraq Body Count]

4.5 Million: Number of Iraqi refugees both inside and outside the country. [Washington Post, 3/17/08]

61: Percent of Iraqis that believe the U.S. military presence makes the security situation in Iraq worse. [Agence France-Presse, 3/17/08]

127: Number of journalists killed in Iraq since March 2003. [Committee to Protect Journalists]

Economic Costs of War in Iraq

$33.51: Cost of a barrel of oil in March 2003. [Energy Information Administration]

$105.68: Cost of a barrel of oil on March 17, 2008. [NYMEX]

U.S. Troops and Contractors in Iraq

132,000: Number of U.S. troops in Iraq in January 2007, before President Bush's escalation. [Brookings Institution, Iraq Index, 3/13/08]

155,000: Number of U.S. troops currently in Iraq. [Brookings Institution, Iraq Index, 3/13/08]

140,000: Number of U.S. troops projected to be in Iraq in July 2008. [Associated Press, 2/26/08]

35,000: Number of private security contractors operating in Iraq. [Human Rights First, Private Security Contractors at War]

180,000: Number of private contractors operating in Iraq. [Human Rights First, Private Security Contractors at War]

Progress Towards Political Reconciliation Made By Iraqis
3: Number out of 18 Bush Administration Benchmarks Met by Iraqi Government As of January 24, 2008. [Center for American Progress, 1/24/08]

18: Number of provinces President Bush said would be secured by Iraqis as of November 2007. [President Bush Speech, 1/10/07]

8: Number of provinces actually secured by Iraqis as of January 2008. [NPR, 1/7/08]

Bush-Republican Intransigence on Staying the Course in Iraq

8: Number of times a majority of the Senate has voted to change course in Iraq.

7: Number of times Bush Republicans in Congress have blocked changing course in Iraq.

1: Number of vetoes issued by the White House over changing course in Iraq.

Of course the question of the day is, what does Hillary Clinton's minister think about all this?

Required Viewing: "A More Perfect Union"

2008-03-18T10:12:00.000-07:00

When we read the Audicity of Hope, this was the rare type of honest commentary about America that put us in the Obama camp. This should be required viewing for mammals over the age of 17:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWe7wTVbLUU&eurl=http://dailykos.com/

The Right Wingers Have Their Swift Boat Narrative

2008-03-15T15:19:00.000-07:00

I'm in France for the next week, but I saw the media is running stories about Barack Obama's pastor. This means they have offically abandoned the "Obama is a secret muslim" swift boat tactic in lieu of the "Barack Obama is a black racist who hates America" smear.

Nevermind the fact that Obama was raised by his white mother or that hes running to be President of the United States, that doesn't register with large numbers of Americans who lack basic logic or reasoning. I hate the KKK. I will not be running for Grand Wizard. Dig it? Despite the nosensical nature of these attacks, the politics of guilt by 3 degress of seperation is picking up steam in the media, check it:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=MjvNSpsPu1k

Keith Olbermann on the Clinton's Tactics

2008-03-12T19:56:00.000-07:00

No intro necessary:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ2JtUmB3kc

Ferraro: Obama is only Winning Becaue He's Black

2008-03-11T11:19:00.001-07:00

The first woman to be on a presidential ticket, Geraldine Ferraro is working on the Hillary Clinton campaign. Because Hillary Clinton can't win the nomination due to large portions of the country distrusting Clintonian double speak and corruption, they have been reduced to making the dumbest of all right wing arguments:

Obama is only winning because he is black. It has nothing to do with him being the most talented politician in a generations or the fact that he has run the best campaign anyone has ever seen.

This ladies in gentleman is what we call neo-racism. It denies all your achievements and credits them to some benevolent society that doesn't exist. Check it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqL_sm0J8jc

Ok since when in America was being black this awesome advantage over white people? I mean outside of rap music or the NBA of course.

Not only is this old white women vs. black people stuff stupid to be arguing about. The only victor is the right wing, who hates women and black people. They love to see us fight because it divides the liberal coalition right down the middle over a fundamentally retarded discussion.

I wonder if Senator Clinton will reject and denounce this type of behavior from her campaign. Probably not, because it has been persistent since South Carolina.

Concert Review: Paul Mooney

2008-03-08T10:56:00.000-08:00

Paul Mooney wrote for Richard Pryor, In Living Color, Saturday Night Live and the Chappelle Show. Not only is he one of the best comic minds around, he is possibly the greatest comedian on race in the universe. The only reason why he isn't a billionaire is because he never sold out after all these years. That and we all know that since 2006 racism doesn't exist in America...Its all Al Sharpton.

So needless to say, I was amped to see him in person for the first time at Caroline's on Broadway. If for some reason you aren't familiar with Mooney's style, imagine an old black man who sits on a stool and says the wildest shit you can possibly imagine. One of my favorite lines from his set was:

I live in an all white neighborhood, but I fuck with them. I burned a cross in my own yard and yelled "I'm better than all of you because I don't live next to any black people"

(note: since the Micheal Richards fiasco Mooney no longer uses the N-word)

But what makes Mooney so great is his penchant for using racial humor to make America's most painful history into something both funny and insightful. For instance, his take on the state of the Republic:

Those terrorists flew into those buildings to make us feel like them, second class citizens. And because you motherfuckers are scared wanting massa Bush to protect you with torture and wiretapping you gave the terrorists their wish. Now you can't even bring shampoo on the plane.

What's really striking about Mooney is how a 65 year old man sitting on a stool is able to completely change the power dynamics of society in a comedy club. You very rarely see a white upper class businessman sweating from discomfort because of something and old black guy is saying. During parts of the show, you almost feel bad for older white people who aren't used to taking a public beating like that. In that room, Paul Mooney is in complete control. It is really an incredible thing to witness.

From 'Race':

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NT-0iOoJ0YE&feature=related

A Letter From Senator Clinton

2008-03-04T21:13:00.000-08:00

I lost 12 States in a row, each by over 17 percent. Barack Obama probably increased his delegate lead by winning Vermont and maybe Texas tonight. It is still mathematically implausible for me to surpass Barack Obama in pledged delegates or the popular vote. But because I won Ohio and Rhode Island, I'm going to stay in the race and take a chance on dividing the Democratic party with my all-out negative campaign against the front runner.

If I can't be President, I would rather John McCain win so I have a chance to run against him in 2012.

Suck on it America,

Your girl Hillary Clinton

p.s. Barack Obama is an inexperienced radical black Muslim who doesn't know how to use the White House phone.

p.p.s My last statement was taken out of context. The media is unfair.

More News on Dudes I Know Intimately (no homo)

2008-03-02T13:29:00.000-08:00

Spencer Williams is UMKC's Courtwarming King! From the University News:

"Williams maintains that a vote for him is a vote for "Spencer Theodore Williams, a disease-free gentleman," He said a student ballot counts, "…as long as you vote for me."

Say Word...

Also my ex roommate Dusty has become a local celebrity at the Arizona Science Center in Phoenix. Check it:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=HCaEYsVEDQY